One of the reasons people don’t achieve their dreams is that they desire to change their results without changing their thinking.
A lot of mindset coaches ask you to reflect on your thoughts, but as much as reflection is important, it’s also a bit of a waste of time. We have 1000’s of thoughts in a day, to reflect on all of them would be a massive undertaking. Here is a faster way, that is 100% accurate…you can tell what you are thinking based on the results you are getting. It’s just math.
First, you have CIRCUMSTANCES or STIMULI, these are sometimes in your control, and a lot of times outside of your control. But what they do all the time is TRIGGER you to have THOUGHTS. These thoughts cause FEELING and these feelings cause you to respond with actions (inaction is still action). These ACTIONS create your RESULTS.
Let’s pause there for a second. The stimulus triggers a thought…but which thought? Why would one stimulus create a thought in you but a completely different thought in someone else? Because of the meaning you place on the stimulus.
In other words: meaning creates emotion.
This can apply to the great results and not so great results in your life. In the end it all comes down to looking at our results and then having the wherewithal to admit to yourself what you are thinking that created those results. This can apply to the state of your bank account, your house and of your body.
Your results will not only tell you what you are thinking but what your standards are in each of those areas of your life.
What I want you to realize here, your stimulus and your results are largely outside of your control. What is in your control is how you respond to the stimulus. (Now that I have said that, I am also going to give you a way to cheat this system!)
Let’s look at an example. Assume you want to lose weight and get in shape. You have made the commitment to follow program XYZ, which, no surprise, eliminates desserts from your eating plan.
STIMULUS: The same day you decide to start your program, Joe shows up at work with a slab of birthday cake, leftover from his daughters 10th birthday.
RESPONSE: You are worried about being thought of as rude if you say no to the cake, it was a nice gesture after all. And since you have a chronic case of F.O.M.O (fear of missing out) you decide to join everyone in the lunchroom to eat the cake. Besides, if Mary can eat the cake, why can’t you?
You shouldn’t have to deprive yourself if others aren’t. You eat the generous serving of cake you are offered.
RESULTS: An hour later you feel defeated and angry at yourself for giving in. The next day you either ignore the scale altogether or tentatively hop on it, and no surprise, you haven’t lost an ounce.
What this means is not that you don’t want to lose weight, it is simply that you wanted to fit in to the crowd more than that. The immediate gratification of eating the cake, whether the reward be physical or social, was stronger than the delayed gratification of losing weight and feeling great.
If this or a scenario like this sounds like you, here is a suggestion that will help…ADD A GAP in the formula.
By creating some space after a stimulus you have time to make a decision. But before you do that, you have to know what you want. What you want more than you want that cake. So, ask yourself, what RESULT do I want MOST? Once you have your answer then decide how you should RESPOND in order to get the desired result.
Pro tip! No matter what you want, what outcome or result you are working towards, you want it because it will bring you some sort of feeling you find desirable. Don’t wait for the result before you allow those feelings in. Start to feel and therefore act like someone who has already achieved their goals. Make decisions based on your future you, not your past actions. Filter all decisions through your desired future self.
YOUR CHALLENGE! The next time you find yourself craving a food that you know won’t take you closer to the results you want and the way you want to feel…STOP…..take 10 deep breaths….base your actions on the results you want and act like someone who is already achieved them.